Monday, March 21, 2011

Small Town Livin'

If you know me, you know that living in a tiny town in central Kentucky is not my ideal place of residence.  We live over an hour from the interstate and farther than that from what I refer to as "civilization".  If we want to go to Target, a decent restaurant, or a sporting event we have to plan our whole day [sometimes weekend] around it.  While I did not grow up in any metropolitan area, much of my adult life was spent in DFW and Atlanta rendering me unable to ever convert back into a small town girl. 

Rather than lament about all the things I won't be doing in the near future, I thought I'd share some observations about living in a small town.  Maybe you've found yourself in the same place I have.  Consider this a survival guide, of sorts. 

If we can't laugh...we might die [of boredom, that is].

Traffic- In this town, if you're stuck in traffic that means someone is driving their tractor on the highway.  This is perfectly normal.

Cows- While I greatly appreciate their purpose, I do not appreciate their smell.  With warmer weather comes the gentle perfume of muddy bovines wafting through my open windows.

Bud Lite- Is it "lite" or "light"?  Well, either way people sure do like to drink it in my neck of the woods.  So much in fact, that they forget where their trash cans are so they just throw the cans right out of their car window.  You heard me.  I'd like to know where all of the police are while these people are flinging beer cans out their window as they round the corner by my house.

Cigarettes- Did you know people still smoke?  I had forgotten about it altogether until I moved here.

Reusable grocery bags- Almost every time I'm at the store in this town with a reusable bag the cashier tries to ring it up.  Truthfully, there are actually a lot of people here that use them.  I. don't. get. it.

Making friends- Forget it.  "You ain't from around here, is ya?"  Ok, ok, so people don't really say that.  Well, most people don't.  But the key to making friends in a small town is to find the people who are also not from that town and bond with them.  That is your only chance.  I recently met several women who are just like me.  I recognized them by the glazed over "What the heck am I doing here?" look in their eyes. 

Gossip- What people don't know about you they will make up.  And even if they do know about you, they'll still make up their own stories.  Just don't worry about it.

Sporting events- When we lived in Fort Worth and most recently, Atlanta, we enjoyed going to MLB games.  We could easily hit up the Rangers/Braves whenever we felt like it.  This year, we'll be grilling hot dogs on the back porch and watching them on tv [if we get that channel here].  In this town, people are obsessed with their kids sports.  I mean obsessed.  Again, I don't get it.  This happens in all towns/cities, though it seems quite more influential here.

These are just a few funny things I've noticed lately 'round these parts.  Everything isn't negative, but if I don't poke fun at what is negative then I won't have anything to talk about.  Watch out for those tractors now, ya hear? 

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