I'd like to tell you the story of how I met, befriended, and then much later became the girlfriend [and of course, wife] of my husband. Not because it's Valentine's Day [tomorrow] but because yesterday was the five year anniversary of our accidental first date.
We met the semester of my junior year of college [his sophomore year]. The location of our meeting is much debated between the two of us, but I'm right. It was at the local laundromat on a Sunday afternoon. It was sunny but the air was still crisp from winter. No one else was there except for him and his then girlfriend. My husband claims that we met in the lobby of my dorm when a large group of us were going to the movies, but that was some time after our first meeting. When the group of us went to the movies several new friendships began for me. I began to spend a lot of time with this group of people and got to know Justin through this. I must admit, though, that I had my eye on someone else for a long time to come...
During my senior year of college, we began to spend a lot of time together. I guess you could say that I considered him my "best guy friend". He was still dating someone else and I certainly was not interested in him as anything more than a friend. Sure, the thought crossed my mind a few times that he and I were quite compatible and over time I even began to find him attractive. Not that my husband isn't adorable, I was just blind to it through our friendship. Looking back, I am thankful that God kept my eyes covered because it allowed me to have an open relationship without any walls, insecurities or fear of rejection.
It has been my experience in my own life as well as in the lives of the college girls that I get to minister to now that it is easy exclaim, even in private, "Where is my husband?!" As a naive Christian girl, I thought I found my husband every other month. It's normal. But I had sincerely prayed about this situation and I knew that God had someone for me, and that it would be a man that I had been friends with. I prayed about it often and as a p.s., "Lord, could he please be a baseball player?" I felt that God would take a beautiful friendship and in His time, turn it into something more. How silly that I was in the midst of that for a couple of years with Justin without even realizing it!
A year after we met, I graduated college and Justin and I parted ways for the summer. He was going to China and I was beginning a job in the same town we attended school. When we were apart that summer, I had begun to realize that I indeed did have some feelings for him. I had finally realized that the other guy that I was interested in for so long was just not interested in me. So I put my best face on and decided to move forward, unattached. I moved into a house with some other girls, got a dog, and entered the working world. Justin went to China and when he came to my house with some other friends for the first time after the summer, I couldn't understand why I wanted to hug him. I had missed him.
Justin and all of his buddies would come over on the weekends to watch movies and more importantly, eat. This time in my life is where I got to fully embrace the gift of hospitality that I did not know I possessed. I loved spending my paycheck [somewhat unwisely!] on feeding those boys. Justin would often come over early to help me "test" food or just hang out. When his birthday came along that December, he came to my house that Saturday for breakfast. I distinctly remember carrying his plate of pancakes from the kitchen to where he was sitting on the couch and thinking, "I could do this for the rest of my life." It was then that I realized that I couldn't suppress my attraction for him any longer. I hoped it would go away.
A few days later my roommate and I threw an epic Christmas party and then it was time for Justin to head home for the Christmas break. Over the holidays, he took me to my first UK game at Rupp Arena. Being a Tennessee fan, this didn't interest me at all but he did so I went. After he came back for his last semester of college, he and I made a friendly wager over the UK/UT basketball game. Whomever's team lost had to take the other person out to dinner. It never entered my mind to think of it as a date, and I'm not sure if it occurred to him either.
It was a snowy Sunday, and I wanted to back out because the last thing I had wanted at that point was to ruin a great friendship because of my silly feelings. I remember that I wore my Timberland boots [hey, it was 2006 and snowing], jeans, a white shirt, and a pink zip up hoodie. We went to Lexington and he took me to Cheddar's because he had lost our bet. We also shopped a little and went to the Starbucks that we had frequented in our friendship. We then attended 608 at Southland Christian Church, a Sunday night service geared toward college students. The speaker was talking about seizing opportunities placed before you and actually said that if there's a girl in your life that you've been thinking about, just ask her out. He and I just looked at each other out of the corner of our eye and didn't talk the rest of the night. It was a long drive back to my house after.
When he pulled in my driveway, I started to ask him if he thought that perhaps the reason we had been friends to easily and for so long was that we were meant for something more. But I couldn't get the words out before he said, "Yes!" He knew what I was going to say. I think he wanted to say it but was too shy. We talked about things over the next few days and we decided that we should begin a cautious relationship.
I had known for a long time that if he would just admit that he was interested in pursuing me, we'd get married. But that's a story for another day...
I'd like to encourage my college girls that if you seek the Lord's will in your future mate, praying about it often, He will give you the desires of your heart. Don't believe me? Justin played baseball. ;)
Monday, February 13, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Last Night's Pie
Ok, back to the pie. With a shrieking 3 month old on my hip, I had to come up with something quick that didn't require a lot of work or a trip to the store. A couple weeks ago I made some shortbread cookies and froze half the dough. So I thawed it during the day in the fridge. When I was ready to make the pie, I pressed it into my tart pan and baked it for abou 15 minutes at 350. As that cooled, I beat up some fresh whipped cream, sweetened with about a tablespoon of powdered sugar. Then I folded in some [Kroger brand] crunchy hazelnut spread. Yes, I said crunchy. It tastes like the filling in those fancy ferrero rocher candies that I don't know how to spell. I spread it on top of the crust and drizzled melted milk chocolate on top to serve. Yum!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Co-Sleeping
Sometimes people assume that since I'm a baby-wearing-cloth-diapering-Toms-wearing-breast-feeding mama that I must co-sleep.
If sitting in a chair at 2am with a baby girl either sprawled out on my lap, wrapped around my neck, laying diagonally across my body, or otherwise attached to my person while drooling and sweating all over me as I try to contort myself into some comfortable position is "co-sleeping", then we're all over it.
It's fun. Because cribs, as you know, are only for play time.
If sitting in a chair at 2am with a baby girl either sprawled out on my lap, wrapped around my neck, laying diagonally across my body, or otherwise attached to my person while drooling and sweating all over me as I try to contort myself into some comfortable position is "co-sleeping", then we're all over it.
It's fun. Because cribs, as you know, are only for play time.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Three Months Old!
My little tater tot is officially 3 months old as of this past Saturday. Which means that I have officially been in charge of a living and breathing human being [outside of the womb] for 3 months. With most jobs there is a 90 day trial period where the employee's performance is evaluated and usually receives a pay raise. If I had to evaluate myself [and my husband] I think we're doing a pretty good job! I know I won't be getting any raises, but I'm ok with getting paid in giggles, big smiles, and sloppy open mouth kisses.
I don't have any stats on her growth, but I am guessing she's probably gained around a pound in the last month. She's fitting quite nicely into 3 month clothes because of her cloth diapers. Yesterday I had her in a disposable and it was fun to see how tiny she still is.
She is still sleeping pretty well, but sometimes she likes to avoid napping during the day or wake up a couple times at night for a quick feeding---just to mix things up. On Saturday we finally ripped the band-aid off and moved her from the bassinet to just the flat part of her pack-and-play. She slept the whole night, much to our surprise! Unfortunately, she has been waking up a couple of times each night after but that may just be because she's having a growth spurt or something.
Our little girl is still quite a happy and social baby! She smiles ALL THE TIME! She doesn't mind if other people hold her, but she definitely doesn't like it when she can't see me. When we're out and about I keep her in the Moby wrap and she is content there. She is definitely a mama's girl. I'll take it because I know it won't be very long before I'm not #1 anymore. I got to hear her laugh for the first time last week! It was one of the sweetest little sounds I've ever heard. She did it for her daddy on Sunday night, but she isn't doing it all the time yet.
Kathryn has always had great head control and loves to sit up and watch everyone. She can't sit up on her own, but she likes to be propped up or sit in her Bumbo seat. She loves to look in mirrors and is still trying her hardest to roll over. She loves things above her that move. I have got to make her a mobile this week!
She has entered the stage of discovering everything with her mouth. I think she gave up on sucking her thumb; she uses two fingers or just stuffs her whole fist in. Anything that she can get hold of goes right in her mouth. Her vision has improved greatly and she loves to watch us from across the room.
Yesterday was a big day. She became a cousin! Annabelle Lucia was born to my brother and his wife. They live in NH but hopefully they'll get to meet soon. Congratulations!
What I want to remember most about this stage is how excited she is about everything. I think she will be that way for a long time to come, but it is just so precious. Sometimes she puts her little hands up by her mouth with that big ol' smile and she looks like a little squirrel. She has really settled into her environment. We love to play, read stories, and have family Bible time most nights. She loves bath time and talking to us from her changing table. She is, I believe, naturally kind of shy. When I'm holding her and people come up she kind of smiles and then buries her head in my neck. I secretly love that. I can't wait to see what her 4th month brings!
I don't have any stats on her growth, but I am guessing she's probably gained around a pound in the last month. She's fitting quite nicely into 3 month clothes because of her cloth diapers. Yesterday I had her in a disposable and it was fun to see how tiny she still is.
She is still sleeping pretty well, but sometimes she likes to avoid napping during the day or wake up a couple times at night for a quick feeding---just to mix things up. On Saturday we finally ripped the band-aid off and moved her from the bassinet to just the flat part of her pack-and-play. She slept the whole night, much to our surprise! Unfortunately, she has been waking up a couple of times each night after but that may just be because she's having a growth spurt or something.
Our little girl is still quite a happy and social baby! She smiles ALL THE TIME! She doesn't mind if other people hold her, but she definitely doesn't like it when she can't see me. When we're out and about I keep her in the Moby wrap and she is content there. She is definitely a mama's girl. I'll take it because I know it won't be very long before I'm not #1 anymore. I got to hear her laugh for the first time last week! It was one of the sweetest little sounds I've ever heard. She did it for her daddy on Sunday night, but she isn't doing it all the time yet.
Kathryn has always had great head control and loves to sit up and watch everyone. She can't sit up on her own, but she likes to be propped up or sit in her Bumbo seat. She loves to look in mirrors and is still trying her hardest to roll over. She loves things above her that move. I have got to make her a mobile this week!
She has entered the stage of discovering everything with her mouth. I think she gave up on sucking her thumb; she uses two fingers or just stuffs her whole fist in. Anything that she can get hold of goes right in her mouth. Her vision has improved greatly and she loves to watch us from across the room.
Yesterday was a big day. She became a cousin! Annabelle Lucia was born to my brother and his wife. They live in NH but hopefully they'll get to meet soon. Congratulations!
What I want to remember most about this stage is how excited she is about everything. I think she will be that way for a long time to come, but it is just so precious. Sometimes she puts her little hands up by her mouth with that big ol' smile and she looks like a little squirrel. She has really settled into her environment. We love to play, read stories, and have family Bible time most nights. She loves bath time and talking to us from her changing table. She is, I believe, naturally kind of shy. When I'm holding her and people come up she kind of smiles and then buries her head in my neck. I secretly love that. I can't wait to see what her 4th month brings!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I did something terrible
This is a really long post. Don't say I didn't warn you. :)
First, a little background. I'm not a loyalist to any one style of parenting, but if I had to choose I would have to say that we fit underneath the "attachment parenting" umbrella. I nurse on demand, wear her in a Moby wrap, and pretty much keep her close at all times. She's almost 12 weeks old and still sleeps in our room. We don't co-sleep, but she sleeps right next to us in her pack and play.
A typical day for us is waking up between 7am-8am, feeding, play time, and a nap. Her morning naps range from 1-3 hours. During the day we read stories, sing songs, and play with a variety of toys [mostly educational, I suppose]. She has a good amount of "independent play" on her activity mat and other baby apparatus'. She has a bouncy seat that she sits in next to the fridge while I unload the dishes, make supper, etc. I can usually get about 20 minutes out of her "independent play" so I am quick to get done what needs doing.
We don't run on any kind of schedule. Well, I guess we do: Kathryn's. I stay home and we only have one car so except for one outing during the week and church on Sunday mornings, we don't have anything to do. My sole job is to take care of her. I still have plenty of time to do most of what I want to do, and whatever doesn't get done during the day gets done in the evenings when Justin comes home.
Lately, I've felt a lot of pressure to establish a schedule, at least for naps/bed time. For a couple weeks she did run like clockwork on her naps. She was having 2 three hour naps a day, one in the morning and one in the late afternoon. I have friends whose babies can only stay awake 2 or 3 hours before they need another nap. My child is not like that. One day last week she was awake for 22 hours except for an hour nap. Yes, you read that correctly, TWENTY-TWO HOURS! She wasn't fussy or anything, just not tired.
You may think that babies don't know what they like or don't like, but I beg to differ. Kathryn does not like skin-on-skin, she doesn't like to be swaddled, she hates riding in the car or anything to do with her car seat, and she does. not. like. naps. Period. Even in her first few days at home, she would go 12+ hours without sleeping. So, after realizing this week that she is getting too long for her bassinet [attached to the pack-and-play] and consequently, her swing [nap time solution,] I decided that this week we'd work on sleeping on the flat part of the pack-and-play. In fact, I thought, while I'm at it why don't I try laying her down before she's completely asleep? I mean, that's what all the experts say I should do. No big deal, I thought. It will be just like that time I had to house-break the dog by keeping her in her cage for 2 days.
It wasn't a complete disaster. I know the signs when Kathryn is about to go to sleep, and we did have some successful, though short, naps by putting her down before she was completely asleep. She even had a couple naps on the flat part of the pack-and-play. But I got a little cocky and decided to let her "cry it out" a little. Everyone says they'll just cry themselves to sleep, right?
Here's where the terrible part comes in. The first time I did it, I was crying about 3 minutes in. A couple of other times, Justin had to almost sit on me to keep me from going to get her. But then he'd feel bad after another minute or two and let me go get her. Today I let her cry for 10 minutes. It didn't get better and she didn't get sleepier. When I went in to get her, she was inconsolable. She didn't even want to nurse. It took me way longer to calm her down after the crying than it would have to rock/pat/nurse her to sleep. Maybe it's because I know too much about orphans and how they eventually stop crying altogether because they know no one's going to come get them, ever. Maybe I'm too sensitive. But I really feel like "crying it out" just breaks her heart. She doesn't know that I'm 5 feet away in the other room. To her, I'm just not there.
I will continue to do what we always do. And if she doesn't want to take a nap at all, I'm not going to make her. She will go to sleep when she's tired. Eventually she is going to be so big for her swing and bassinet that she absolutely cannot sleep in them anymore, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I think that change will be a lot easier than trying to make her sleep when she just isn't tired. I'm going to keep working on the transition and hopefully have her in her crib in a few weeks. We are blessed because she sleeps between 7-8 hours a night and I know babies that are very scheduled who never do that. She's done that since about 4 weeks.
If you're like me and feel pressured to do things a certain way, don't cave in. We have instincts for a reason. My instincts have been telling me to rock, sway, nurse, etc., since I first held her in my arms. I'm going to keep trusting them. It's what works for us. I'm going to stop reading about other peoples' wonderfully scheduled lives and feel like I'm a failure because we don't schedule anything. I'm not going to feel inadequate because I have to nurse my baby in public when she's hungry because I can't seem to pump enough milk. I will shamelessly nurse her to sleep at night because it comforts her and helps her sleep longer because her belly is full. I'm not going to apologize if I haven't done the dishes or vacuumed up the dog hair off my couch. I'm a mama first, and no one else can take care of my little angel like I can. God has given all mommies everything they need to care for their little ones. It's not easy, but why make it harder by giving ourselves unrealistic expectations?
I have several sweet friends who have just become mamas and I'm so glad we're on this journey together. It's nice to be in the club, right? I hope that you feel encouraged to embrace your gut feelings and know that you are doing a great job! I won't judge you, whether you are of the "cry it out" group, the "co-sleep" group, or the "every day is different and we just go with the flow" group. This is the hardest thing we'll ever do as women, but it's definitely the best part of our lives!
First, a little background. I'm not a loyalist to any one style of parenting, but if I had to choose I would have to say that we fit underneath the "attachment parenting" umbrella. I nurse on demand, wear her in a Moby wrap, and pretty much keep her close at all times. She's almost 12 weeks old and still sleeps in our room. We don't co-sleep, but she sleeps right next to us in her pack and play.
A typical day for us is waking up between 7am-8am, feeding, play time, and a nap. Her morning naps range from 1-3 hours. During the day we read stories, sing songs, and play with a variety of toys [mostly educational, I suppose]. She has a good amount of "independent play" on her activity mat and other baby apparatus'. She has a bouncy seat that she sits in next to the fridge while I unload the dishes, make supper, etc. I can usually get about 20 minutes out of her "independent play" so I am quick to get done what needs doing.
We don't run on any kind of schedule. Well, I guess we do: Kathryn's. I stay home and we only have one car so except for one outing during the week and church on Sunday mornings, we don't have anything to do. My sole job is to take care of her. I still have plenty of time to do most of what I want to do, and whatever doesn't get done during the day gets done in the evenings when Justin comes home.
Lately, I've felt a lot of pressure to establish a schedule, at least for naps/bed time. For a couple weeks she did run like clockwork on her naps. She was having 2 three hour naps a day, one in the morning and one in the late afternoon. I have friends whose babies can only stay awake 2 or 3 hours before they need another nap. My child is not like that. One day last week she was awake for 22 hours except for an hour nap. Yes, you read that correctly, TWENTY-TWO HOURS! She wasn't fussy or anything, just not tired.
You may think that babies don't know what they like or don't like, but I beg to differ. Kathryn does not like skin-on-skin, she doesn't like to be swaddled, she hates riding in the car or anything to do with her car seat, and she does. not. like. naps. Period. Even in her first few days at home, she would go 12+ hours without sleeping. So, after realizing this week that she is getting too long for her bassinet [attached to the pack-and-play] and consequently, her swing [nap time solution,] I decided that this week we'd work on sleeping on the flat part of the pack-and-play. In fact, I thought, while I'm at it why don't I try laying her down before she's completely asleep? I mean, that's what all the experts say I should do. No big deal, I thought. It will be just like that time I had to house-break the dog by keeping her in her cage for 2 days.
It wasn't a complete disaster. I know the signs when Kathryn is about to go to sleep, and we did have some successful, though short, naps by putting her down before she was completely asleep. She even had a couple naps on the flat part of the pack-and-play. But I got a little cocky and decided to let her "cry it out" a little. Everyone says they'll just cry themselves to sleep, right?
Here's where the terrible part comes in. The first time I did it, I was crying about 3 minutes in. A couple of other times, Justin had to almost sit on me to keep me from going to get her. But then he'd feel bad after another minute or two and let me go get her. Today I let her cry for 10 minutes. It didn't get better and she didn't get sleepier. When I went in to get her, she was inconsolable. She didn't even want to nurse. It took me way longer to calm her down after the crying than it would have to rock/pat/nurse her to sleep. Maybe it's because I know too much about orphans and how they eventually stop crying altogether because they know no one's going to come get them, ever. Maybe I'm too sensitive. But I really feel like "crying it out" just breaks her heart. She doesn't know that I'm 5 feet away in the other room. To her, I'm just not there.
I will continue to do what we always do. And if she doesn't want to take a nap at all, I'm not going to make her. She will go to sleep when she's tired. Eventually she is going to be so big for her swing and bassinet that she absolutely cannot sleep in them anymore, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I think that change will be a lot easier than trying to make her sleep when she just isn't tired. I'm going to keep working on the transition and hopefully have her in her crib in a few weeks. We are blessed because she sleeps between 7-8 hours a night and I know babies that are very scheduled who never do that. She's done that since about 4 weeks.
If you're like me and feel pressured to do things a certain way, don't cave in. We have instincts for a reason. My instincts have been telling me to rock, sway, nurse, etc., since I first held her in my arms. I'm going to keep trusting them. It's what works for us. I'm going to stop reading about other peoples' wonderfully scheduled lives and feel like I'm a failure because we don't schedule anything. I'm not going to feel inadequate because I have to nurse my baby in public when she's hungry because I can't seem to pump enough milk. I will shamelessly nurse her to sleep at night because it comforts her and helps her sleep longer because her belly is full. I'm not going to apologize if I haven't done the dishes or vacuumed up the dog hair off my couch. I'm a mama first, and no one else can take care of my little angel like I can. God has given all mommies everything they need to care for their little ones. It's not easy, but why make it harder by giving ourselves unrealistic expectations?
I have several sweet friends who have just become mamas and I'm so glad we're on this journey together. It's nice to be in the club, right? I hope that you feel encouraged to embrace your gut feelings and know that you are doing a great job! I won't judge you, whether you are of the "cry it out" group, the "co-sleep" group, or the "every day is different and we just go with the flow" group. This is the hardest thing we'll ever do as women, but it's definitely the best part of our lives!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Something new: Maple Pork Loin
Ok friends, I've got something new for you to try. Who doesn't love a nice slow cooked piece of meat? I'm talking, cooked so long that it is literally falling apart. Even better than that, you just throw it in the crockpot and forget about it til supper! In this season of life, literally and figuratively, I can think of nothing better than a slow-cooked meal. I don't have any pictures, but I hope you can "see" how good this is and be inspired for a different way to make pork.
Ingredients:
1 pork loin [well, 2 since that's what comes in a pack---mine was a toal of 3lbs]
3/4 c maple syrup
2 Tbsp butter
1/2 c orange juice
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp each of: ancho chile powder, chipotle chile powder, ginger
1 tsp paprika
Directions:
Salt and pepper each side of the loins and place in your slow cooker. In a small saucepan, heat the maple syrup and butter until it's melted. Then add in the orange juice and spices and stir until combined. Finally, just pour it in the slow cooker, pop the lid on, and cook on high for 4 hours. When you open the lid you will be greeted with tender and juicy, sweet [but not too sweet] and slightly spicy pork.
I served it with sweet potatoes and spinach, and we're having it as tacos tonight. I based this recipe off of a few different ones I'd seen online. It seems I always make either BBQ or herb crusted pork and I just wanted to try something different. You can play around with the spices depending on what you have on hand. The addition of a sliced onion would be grand, but we forgot to get those at the store this week.
Ingredients:
1 pork loin [well, 2 since that's what comes in a pack---mine was a toal of 3lbs]
3/4 c maple syrup
2 Tbsp butter
1/2 c orange juice
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp each of: ancho chile powder, chipotle chile powder, ginger
1 tsp paprika
Directions:
Salt and pepper each side of the loins and place in your slow cooker. In a small saucepan, heat the maple syrup and butter until it's melted. Then add in the orange juice and spices and stir until combined. Finally, just pour it in the slow cooker, pop the lid on, and cook on high for 4 hours. When you open the lid you will be greeted with tender and juicy, sweet [but not too sweet] and slightly spicy pork.
I served it with sweet potatoes and spinach, and we're having it as tacos tonight. I based this recipe off of a few different ones I'd seen online. It seems I always make either BBQ or herb crusted pork and I just wanted to try something different. You can play around with the spices depending on what you have on hand. The addition of a sliced onion would be grand, but we forgot to get those at the store this week.
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